There’s a Canadian TV show that everyone is talking about these days. It’s called Heated Rivalry, and it’s a celebration of queer love. It seems to have captured the imagination of people across Canada and around the world. I’m not a big TV watcher but I had to check this one out.
A deeply moving story about queer love
No one will be surprised when I say that I loved the show. At several points, it brought me to tears. I was deeply moved, watching the stories of closeted professional hockey players trying to navigate their love lives in a hyper-macho, homophobic sports environment.
To this day, there hasn’t been one NHL player who has come out as gay while still actively playing for a team. That just shows how daunting it must be for any queer NHL player to deal with their sexuality.
Watching the show, a few themes emerged for me. One was how important it is to live authentically and how painful it is when it’s not possible to do so.
The two couples portrayed in the series: Scott and Kip, and Ilya and Shane, are constantly confronting the challenges of trying to be their true selves while navigating the culture of toxic masculinity in North American professional hockey.
Joyful queer love
Another theme explored in the series was that of joyful, lustful, and successful queer love. In typical mainstream TV shows and movies, the queer male characters rarely get to have hot, steamy, unabashed sex. In fact, they’re often portrayed as asexual or even tragic figures. For queer male characters on mainstream TV, sex is something vaguely alluded to and rarely shown.
In this show, the characters have a lot of unapologetic sex and they enjoy it very much. What I like about the show is how queer male sex is normalized. It’s treated like a natural, positive part of a relationship.
A happy ending for queer lovers
Another theme of this series is that of the happy ending. In mainstream TV and the movies, this is usually out of the question. The queer characters are often portrayed as tragic figures, in part, perhaps, to pander to old-fashioned ideas of morality in which a queer character cannot be successful in love. In this series, those antiquated and destructive notions are exploded and (spoiler alert) both of the couples featured get to have their happy endings.
I particularly enjoyed watching the scene in which Scott and Kip got to proclaim their love in a very public manner. That was one of the moments in the series that brought me to tears. It was also incredibly touching when Ilya and Shane got to do a more private version of the same at a meal they shared with Shane’s parents.
I’m not exactly certain why this series is resonating so powerfully with such a broad audience. Maybe it’s because we all want to root for the underdog? Maybe it’s because we’re protesting the anti-2SLGBTQ+ rhetoric we’re hearing these days? Whatever the reason, I can say why it resonated with me. It’s because it was a really good love story. Everyone believes in love and wants love, but it’s not always easy to achieve. We can all relate to the obstacles that get in the way of finding and keeping love.
The challenges of finding true love
The characters in Heated Rivalry want love so badly, but at the start of the series, none of the three athletes believe that it’s possible for them, as players in the NHL. They’re all resigned to waiting for years, if not decades, before they’re free to pursue love. It’s heartbreaking watching them make that sacrifice for the sake of their careers.
When love comes to Scott, and then to Ilya and Shane, the viewer wants to cheer, because something that seemed so out of reach for these characters is now a real possibility. We relate to their desire for happiness, and we want this for them. We want to see them have everything that everybody gets to have.
Another reason why this show resonates with me is the hate-to-love journey between Ilya and Shane. We can all relate to this romance trope in which a character meets someone who initially irritates them and then gradually, the irritation evolves into an intense attraction. It’s exciting to see how the feelings between these two characters change.
I also enjoyed watching the ambivalence of the main characters. The push-pull dynamic between Ilya and Shane was so relatable. They want each-other; they have strong feelings for each other, but they’re terrified of surrendering to these feelings. We can all relate to being afraid of love and having those kinds of mixed emotions.
Forbidden love
I especially found the theme of forbidden love to be appealing in this series. People are often in situations in which they’re not free to express the love they feel toward someone else. It could be because of their sexuality, their religion, or their political views. It could be because of race, class, or family dynamics. Whatever the reason, the audience is always on the side of the lovers. When the story puts obstacles in the way of love, the viewer roots all the more for the characters. The impossibility of the relationship adds tension and stakes to the story and creates suspense for the viewer.
I particularly enjoyed the rivalry between Ilya and Shane. These two characters have so many reasons to be rivals. They’re from different countries; they’re on different teams, and the intense sexual attraction between them makes them deeply uncomfortable. For all these reasons, their initial psychological defense mechanism is to be hostile and dismissive toward one another. These are extremely relatable feelings that anyone in the audience can identify with.
The journey of love
I loved this show because it portrays a realistic progression of two different relationships over time. Watching the gradual evolution of the interactions between Scott and Kip and between Ilya and Shane is gratifying, because they realistically move from physical attraction to a deepening emotional connection.
I enjoyed the theme of the conflict between career and love. It’s common for people to prioritize their careers at the expense of their relationships, and for these professional athletes who have so much to lose, it’s understandable that they’d be willing to put love on the back burner. Still, we see them suffering with this choice, and it makes the series poignant for this reason.
There are so many relatable themes in this series. Another one is disappointment in love. When Scott is unable to give Kip what he wants, we see how devastated Kip is. He wants so badly to be with Scott, but he doesn’t want to be Scott’s “dirty secret.”
When Ilya rejects Shane at the Olympics, the audience can see the look of confusion and misery on Shane’s face. He doesn’t understand why Ilya is behaving this way and he doesn’t know what to do about it. Many of us have felt this way at one time or another and it’s horrible. We’re able to empathize with Shane while at the same time our hearts go out to Ilya, understanding that he’s only pushing Shane away because of his own inner wounds.
A subtle and accurate depiction of queer love
In so many ways, this series is psychologically astute. It captures authentic emotions of real human beings who are grappling with so many different conflicting needs and desires. It’s rare for me, a psychiatrist, to see a TV series that portrays characters with such subtlety and accuracy. This show captures the true emotions that the characters are feeling and for that reason, and all of the ones above, it touched me deeply. I’m pleased but not surprised that it has touched so many others, as well.
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